Bug Off

Living here in this beautiful apartment in the middle of a tropical paradise sitting on cliff overlooking the wide expanse of the South China Sea is what can I say, pretty nice. The house was built in 2001. It's got a solid brick construction, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, hardwood floors, nice furniture, all this situated 45 minutes from one of the biggest metropolises in the world if not Asia for not a whole lotta money.

I don't have a whole lot to complain about but, let me tell you, there are downsides to living out in the jungle. For the past few weeks, while the mercury slowly rose to summer like temperatures, so did the number of insects flying, buzzing, fluttering, creeping, crawling, ughhh yuck.

It rained on Monday. An hour after it stopped I left for my guitar lesson. What I saw on the trail down the mountain was one of the most disgusting things I had ever seen, though, not as disgusting as giant snails slithering all over the ATMs in Taipei but that's a different story. Anyway, I started walking and I saw these fluttering bugs that weren't mosquitoes, moths, nor dragonflies - I don't know what they were but there were millions of them. They were everywhere in the air and on the ground so when I stepped I couldn't avoid crushing them, they were in my hair, on my clothes in my face. What could I do? I had to go to my guitar lesson so there ended up being a lot of bug guts on the bottom of my sneakers by the time I got there. When I headed back after the lesson, they were gone, just a bunch of fat frogs left hopping about.

Yesterday, I found a centipede in my bedroom. It was dead, caught in my mosquito net. I was so distraught I couldn't even muster up enough courage to clean it up. I kept thinking about the idea of a centipede crawling all over me while I slept.

Then there are the mosquitoes. I'm one of those people who if in a crowd of a hundred people, a mosquito will zero in and aim for. It started with one or two mosquito bites a day. Then, that turned into four or five. Pretty soon all of my extremities were covered in little ichy pink bumps that kept me awake at night. I put my mosquito net up above my bed but somehow those clever little buggers found their way in. I got a mosquito racket but I hardly ever saw the bugs, they're so damn elusive. (For those of you who don't live in Asia, it's a small plastic tennis racket with metal mesh in the middle. When you push a button on the handle, electricity passes through the wire zapping anything that gets caught. It's quite satisfying to electrocute a mosquito.) Sometimes, I even thought I was spontaneously erupting red welts on my body since I never saw them. I even wore long clothes and sweat myself to death in this tropical climate of 90 degree weather. It was time for something stronger. I marched my way to Watsons and got me some of that OFF insect repellent. I was holding off because we all know that OFF contains DEET, ya know, that dangerous chemical that can cause serious damage to your nervous system. It's been know to produce muscle spasms, seizures and even blamed as the root cause of Gulf War Syndrome. I was desperate! I bought two small spray bottles of OFF for Kids. This company wouldn't be marketing something dangerous to kids, would they?

The first time I used it, the tiny liquid particles left in the air entered my nasal passages and stung hard. I started to sneeze compulsively. The good thing was I didn't get any bites after that. I continued to use it but the smell was just awful and I kept sneezing every time I used it. I had to find something else. I went to Mannings and picked up some citronella patches and some OFF lotion.

The patches worked but not very long and if a strong breeze came I was outta luck. The OFF lotion was surprisingly effective. I went to inspect the percentage of DEET in the product to compare it with the OFF spray which had 7%. (The FDA doesn't allow any product to be sold with over 30% DEET.) I couldn't find it listed. Then I looked closer and discovered that it doesn't have any at all. In fact it's made of "plant based essential oil." That's amazing!

I had to find out what it was so I turned to the internet. It's eucalyptus. Mosquitoes are naturally repelled by the scent of the tree. Not only is it a good insect repellent, it's been know to have a myriad of health benefits, like fever reducer, relief of congestion, and anxiety plus more. The synthetic chemical menthol is supposed to imitate the properties of the natural chemicals found in the eucalyptus oils. The eucalyptus tree has suddenly become my favorite plant in the world.

Conversation spoken through our smiles.

Ian Wright: Hi, well, you're looking very nice tonight.
Me: Oh, why thank you. So are you.
Ian: Who's that guy over there? (looking at the man holding the camera.)
Me: Oh, he's my boyfriend.
Ian: Has he got any hair under there? (referring to the porkpie hat Malcolm got two days previously)
Me: Yea, he's got plenty of hair under there.
Ian: You sure about that because anyone wearing a hat like that can't have any hair. ... Oh hey, big guy.

7 pm JW Marriott

Yesterday I walked out of the house wearing my new Betsy Johnson dress and Zara sandals that I purchased specifically for this occasion and was off to the salon in Central where I was to get my hair and makeup done. (I'm such a dork!) I've never gotten my makeup done nor even really done it myself; I don't even really know how to put makeup on for that matter. But if I was going to potentially be on TV, I wanted to look good.

The people in the salon were polite, but perhaps overly polite, like the kind of polite one would be if this were their first time doing it. Oh no! I just kept hoping that I wouldn't come out looking like some hooker hanging around the streets of Monkok. But no, the ladies were good. Fiona, the woman treating me, was like an alchemist in her laboratory, mixing and concocting different colors in order to make me BEAUTIFUL. And that's exactly how I demanded it too. For over an hour, she brushed, smeared, dabbed, drew, plucked and retouched. It was really something. I couldn't imagine doing this every day especially since through most of it she had me close my eyes. When she finished, I looked in the mirror and saw subtle changes, enough to notice there was a difference but I wasn't a completely different person. I was content.

So it was off to Pacific Plaza where the hotel was located. We had an hour to stroll around in the mall which was fun because we went into those ultra chic top end stores which I normally would have never entered but because we were dressed well, it felt like we were in our native habitat. 7:00 came and went, we actually ended up getting lost in the mall. We eventually found the Marriott, then the correct conference hall, where I presented my award letter in exchange for some Discovery Channel travel bags. The room was nearly filled; most people were eating food acquired at the marvelous buffet set up in the back of the room. There were slightly fewer than 150 chairs set up for the audience. There was a small stage with two screens on either side promoting Ian's new show VIP Weekends.

The next hour was spent chowing down on The most delicious food including Mongolian spiced rack of lamb. Mmmm. Then before I knew it he was walking down the aisle, everybody cheering him on. He got on stage where he introduced himself and then delivered some hysterical travel stories. Afterwards, he answered some questions one of which I found rather interesting. "Do you actually stay in the places (hostels) they film on TV?" "Uh, no not always, and there's always a bit of guilt involved in that." Lastly, there was the picture taking session. We could use our own camera or have a Polaroid taken. I got to exchange a few words with him, had my picture taken with Ian Wright, shook hands with him and said good-bye. All in all, I went home feeling like I had a pretty good night of free entertainment (disregarding the cost of that new dress, new pair of shoes and the afternoon at the salon).

Do you know this guy? Ian Wright, travel host of Globe Trekker, is coming to Hong Kong. Photo courtesy of Globe Trekker website.

Dinner with Ian Wright

Okay, so it's true that I spend quite a bit of time in front of the computer watching TV. (I got this great TV card for my PC. It's fan-fu@$in-tastic. I don't have to spend money on another ugly box, yay!) But coming from Taiwan where I didn't even have a TV for 3 years and moving here to Hong Kong where Broadband Internet and Broadband TV come together like a married couple has changed the way I spend my evenings. I'm so hooked on these silly travel shows on the Discovery Channel. I don't know if you've ever heard of the show Globe Trekker but it's one of my favorites. Unfortunately, I'm not able to catch it very often because I get home from work too late. But anyway, I'm a big fan of one the travel hosts, Ian Wright. A few weeks ago, Discovery began advertising Ian Wright coming to Hong Kong to do a show here as well as a contest to have dinner with this guy. I thought, "That might be pretty cool, not that I have much of a chance of winning since this city has a population 6.8 million people and this contest is being broadcast on Hong Kong television but I'll give it a try." I went to the website several times, couldn't find the application, had to watch the 10 second commercial a few more times to get the exact website, found it, wrote a 30 word speil about why I liked Ian Write and clicked send. That was about a month ago and shortly after I forgot about it.

Last Friday evening, a woman left a message on my voicemail while I was in class. It was in Chinese so I quickly took it to be telemarketing. I was about to delete it but at the last second I heard something about Discovery Channel and decided to save it and have a friend translate it for me. Saturday passed without notice. Then on Sunday when I was sitting in a cafe I saw someone at the table next to me check their message on his Blackberry. I thought, "Oh yeah, I've got a message. I'm gonna listen to it again." That's when I thought I understood I won the contest. I must have listened to it twenty times before I asked the server at the counter to help me translate it. My assumptions were correct. I did win and the woman who called me requested that I call her back on Monday.

I've been invited to the JW Marriott in Hong Kong to have dinner with Mr. Ian Wright on Thursday evening at 7:00. Oh my God! You see, messages in my mailbox are only kept for three days and had I waited much longer, the message would have been deleted and I might not have ever known I won. I'll keep you updated on what happens next Thursday.

Theatre Street in Central, Hong Kong. I absolutely love this picture. I used a new film, Kodak black and white CN 400 which accepts chemicals normally used to develop color film. I think it's a great film and will probably use it more often than my usual standard TMAX.  

Eating at Macau's famous Fernando's restaurant was definately the highlight of the trip. The prawns cooked Portuguese style were simply divine.

It was really interesting walking through the narrow alleys of Macau. No English at all; it's either, Chinese or Portuguese.

Old Chinese woman, probably a mainlander visiting Macau. 

Ruins of Saint Paul's Cathedral, Macau. I don't know what the distortion is at the bottom. The photo shop swears it's not them. Uh huh...

Now, a splash of color for you. Yellow wall in streets of Macau during the Chinese New Year holiday.  

Information booth in the Main Square, Macau. 

The Last Letter

After demanding why he felt he needed to go into my music school to ask for my schedule he wrote back saying this.

Linda,

The owner of the music school used to be one of my students¡¦ parents. But
a few months ago, somebody took over it. Since then, I have not been there
until today. I have got back some old feeling standing inside.

Can we have lunch or dinner some day in this week?
Can I make contact with you by phone?
KK

I then wrote saying that I had no interest in going out to eat with him. This was his reply.

Linda,

Ok! Thanks for your positive reply. I know what to do. Bye!

KK

Now this could mean one of three things. He's either decided to leave me alone for good or he's going to come after me with a knife or he's going to kill himself out of rejection. Let's hope it's the first of the three.

Cornered

Yesterday I had about a two hour internet session cleaning up my mailbox and sending e-mails that I've been putting off, including the one that was to tell off this weirdo who contacted me and refused to identify himself. I told him things like he had no right to use my personal information and that I was cutting off all correspondence with him since he refused to tell me how he got my info. I also mentioned that he was lucky that I didn't inform authorities about him harrassing me. Let's just say it was not a very nice message. After finishing up, I went out to get some dinner and groceries at Wellcome.

As soon as I walk out of the store a man approaches me and asks "Are you Linda?" The blood in my face drains and a low yes seems to make its way out of my mouth. "I'm KK." I'm thinking, "Oh my God! It's him!" But it's not the KK I previously thought he was. I was picturing this gross, dirty old man but he's not. He's really young - 20's maybe - and a complete dork not that I have anything against dorks since well, I'm pretty geeky myself. But he's got the complete stereotypical nerdy appearance - tall, skinny, glasses, messed up hair and a bad complexion. He asks if he can walk me home. I ponder the question. "That means that he'll know where I live. What do I say?" I start by asking him how he got my contact info and he says that he'll tell me on the way home. -I don't think so. You tell me now. He goes on saying that we met last year in October. Mmm. I still don't remember. Where? At Scott Island Learning Center. An alarm goes off in my head. I knew it. He must have gotten it from my resume with all my information on it. Scott Island is the one other cram school on the island. I remember walking in, handing a guy my resume and walking out in less than a few minutes.

We get to talking and he doesn't seem like such a bad person anymore so I let him walk me partway home. He tells me he plays the er-hu (a two stringed Chinese instrument, what a dork!) and asks if I play any instruments. I tell him that I'm taking guitar lessons on the island and then we part ways at my block. I enter the wrong apartment building unconvinced that he hasn't followed me and wait there in the dark stairwell for the next five minutes. Then I sneak out to go around the complex, down to the beach and up the stairs to my own apartment where I dart into the entrance way. I take a peak out the window. No one. I whip out my keys, open the door, slam it, and put the chain on. Sigh of relief.

That night I barely slept. This may be one of the strangest things to have ever happened to me. The next day I get another e-mail from Mr. KK.

Linda,

Hi, what are you going? Are you prastising the guitar? Now, the time is
17:30pm. I know you are going to Rejoice Music to learn guitar at about
19:00pm. Right! Why I know that is I have just talked to your guitar
tutor,
Raymond Cheung. He's very nice. So are you.

Can I call you through the phone?
Bye!
KK

My God! What a nutbar! This guy actually went into my music school, met my teacher before I even had a chance to and inquired about my schedule. There's about a snowman's chance in hell that he's going to get my number.

Congratulations Linda, you've got a stalker!

Remember when I first got here in Hong Kong? I was so lonely because I didn't know anyone. I missed my friends from Taiwan and back home in the States and wished constantly to make more friends here. Well, I must have wished too hard because just the other day I received and e-mail from someone I don't know.

Linda Hung,

How are you getting along? My name is, hm¡K, KK. I am a resident of Cheung
Chau. I work in there as well. I know you have been looking for a job.
Have you got one yet?

Hm¡K! Do you remember me? I think we have seen each other twice at least.
The last time we met was at a restaurant that is near the ferry pier. At
that time, I was having rice with steak and you were having Japanese
noodles, perhaps Wu Tung, for dinner. Have you evoked something special so
far? That¡¦s¡K.  I think you may know who I am at present. Right?

Actually, I like meeting friends from around the world. This makes me
understand more people whose background and culture are completely
different. Do you have the same interest like me? If so, please pick up a
pen to start building up our friendship.

I am looking forward to receiving your message. Byebye!

Truly

KK

Now, the intention seems genuine enough however, we must remember, I have no idea who this person is. How does he know my surname? How does he know my e-mail address? Had we formally met before because I had no recollection of it? I e-mailed him back asking exactly these exact questions. This was his reply.

Dear Linda,

Sorry! In that restaurant, there is a table for two only. The rests are
for four or more than that. In the evening 21/1, were you the one who sat at
that table enjoying dinner alone? If so, you are Linda and the last
message I sent was to the right place. Actually, can we be friends here?

KK

Notice he completely disregards my questions about how he obtained my personal info. The night before I received the first message from him, I did eat Japanese noodles by the ferry pier and ate at a table for two. However, he and I both acknowledge I was eating by myself! It creeps me out when I think that I was eating there while someone was eying me from across the room. I reply to this message asking the same questions from above. This is what he says next.

Linda,

I will tell you why I have got your name and e-mail. But I want you to
give me an answer if we can be friends first. Sorry! I am so straightforward.
It is my personality both merit and shortcoming.

The Chinese Year Festival is coming, what are you going to do?

KK

Now he's being really manipulative. I told him I would be his friend to satisfy him and demanded how he got my info yet again. I'm waiting for a reply. Perhaps, he is reading this as I wait.

Check out this website. You can share secrets by sending a postcard to this address.

My New Year's Resolution

It's a little late but here it is, my resolution for the year 2006.

To be as honest and true to myself and others as can be.

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
   --William Shakespeare

The Nuances of this Dialect

After almost three months here I've just now begun to understand how to properly thank someone in Cantonese. Unlike in English where "thank you" means thank you or in the case of Mandarin "xie xie" means thank you, Cantonese isn't quite as straight forward. For months I've observed that some people here say "duo jie" for thank you and others say "m-goi." In the beginning, I would say "duo jie" when buying something in the market but after I realized people would look at me strangely I changed over to "m-goi." Then, due to my often paranoid personality, I thought people were still eyeing me in an odd way so I resorted to saying both consecutively and then switching order hoping at least one of them would be correct. It got to the point where I simply couldn't stand it anymore so I had to repeatedly ask my coworkers how to say how to say this previously believed simple and basic phrase.

According to them, use "m-goi" when someone does something for you and "duo jie" when getting something from someone else. So, at the market when buying something, after the merchant gives you the change say "m-goi" because they provided a service, while they say "duo jie" because you've given them business. At least that's how I understand it. Then add "sai" to either one of them to emphasize what you've just said - "Duo jie sai" or "m-goi sai." Now that we've got all this cleared up, maybe I can get on with the more difficult stuff like saying excuse me.

The Way of the Cantonese

Hong Kongers are notorious for bad manners and seem to have a world wide reputation for being some of the greediest, rudest people on earth. This I may have to agree with on a certain level but we must understand that this is coming from a western perspective. When I go to the market and ask for something but the merchant doesn't understand what I'm saying, generally, the latter is the one who gets upset and starts to yell, "Heh?! heh?! What're you sayin'?!" Originally, I was, to say the least, a bit put off by this, but after a while, I just started to get used to it because whether I am a foreigner or a native Cantonese person, which many upon first site of me wouldn't be able to tell, the locals would treat me with the same "rude" manner because in their eyes it's not actually being rude. It's the way of the people.

The Cantonese are rough with each other on a day to day basis. It's normality. For instance just today my coworker Stephen and I were talking about something and Candy who helps out with the office work just kept interrupting our conversation, not once, not twice, but several times and in the end, we just gave up and the string of thoughts frayed. Stephen seemed completely oblivious to her interruptions but then again he actually grew up in Hong Kong and is used to it. It didn't really bother me either because after all she wasn't being rude on purpose. Now, I don't necessarily agree with the way the Cantonese conduct their day to day business but I accept it nonetheless. Life goes on normally as it has been doing for a very long time. This society functions perfectly well with all its six million "rude" people.

I am so lovin this album You Could Have It So Much Better. Get it now.