Not a good week

Last Friday, woke up, felt fine, went to the kitchen to get some cereal as I do every morning, and just before I got my bowl, I sniffled. This sniffle proved to be more trouble than I had ever expected. At that very second, a fluid pop sounded in my neck and I was rendered incapacitated for the next five minutes. Ouch. Pain like I had somehow either dislocated a vertebrae or sprained my neck muscles or like I was dying from my spinal cord being ruptured, I don't know but it hurt, a lot. There I was, staring at the sink for some time. When I thought the pain had subsided enough to move again, I decided to do some neck exercises to loosen it up. No luck. It still hurt, ow. That night I stayed up until 4 or 5 in the morning because I just couldn't get comfortable. By 4:30 I was frantically flipping though the English phone book and old magazines to see if I could find an ad for a chiropractor. "I NEED TO FIND A CHIROPRACTOR NOW!" Nothing. I couldn't turn my head for a couple of days but eventually the pain ebbed. I did end up finding one though a friend but on the night before I was supposed to go, Mr. Kung Pao Chicken poisoned me. I thought we were friends, too! I wonder what people thought while I was hurling up soup, rice, cabbage in front of Warner Village. After a night of excretion from every bodily orifice, delirium took over. I kept thinking I was in this Japanese animation I had just watched called Spirited Away. It was awful. Thinking it was safe to eat something the next day I ate a half loaf of bread. That's fairly easy to digest, I thought. What followed next was unbelievable wrenching pain like I'd never felt in my abdomen before. Every time I stood up, it came back so I stayed in bed the entire day. I started to then get a headache from lying down so much. What I mess I was. I'm better now but I'm starting to feel the tickle in the back of the throat that usually indicates a cold coming.